By Dream Internship
This month’s theme is about communication and the importance of it. As my colleague, Chelsi, mentioned in her article, “Communicating is more than just talking to people.” It is a basic function of being a human being. It is not only important to express your message clearly, but to also make sure that your message is being received exactly how you need it to be. Although some people may see the word “appearance” and think of physical appearance, don’t forget that this also includes the way you send a message to your receiver. For the more forward individuals who are honest, these may help with your tact. Here are some tips I found in an article on how to “Get your point across without being rude.”
Tip 1: Get more information before making a statement
You don’t want to shut off the source of the message too early. Open your mind and remember to listen. Listening is just as important, if not more, then speaking. If you don’t agree with something, think of why. “Making a statement rather than asking a question closes off the possibility that you’ll gain additional understanding and increases the likelihood that you’ll be perceived negatively.” Here is the example that is in the article.
Raw: That’s never going to work.
Polished: I don’t have enough information yet to get behind this and see how it will improve project outcomes. Can you tell me more about what you are proposing?
Always listen and focus on what the message is to avoid confusion.
Tip 2: Check out any assumptions you might be making
As I get older, I have caught myself making assumptions and am able to stop myself, bullet point my thoughts, divide them into a list of reasoning, and come to a question. This tip is to reinforce the importance of clarity. You do not want to assume but rather question and clarify. Always remember that we are all from different cultures and backgrounds, therefore, it is actually quite simple to confuse a simple message. If you haven’t heard the old saying here it is: “Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.” Here is the example that is in the article.
Raw: You need to do a great job on this project, or we’ll all be in trouble.
Polished: In order to fulfill expectations for success on this project, you need to improve our customer relation feedback from fair to good within six months of starting the new approach. Knowing that, is there anything else we need to add to help meet that goal?
Watching yourself for assumptions is something that can help improve your work relationships and even your intimate relationships.
Tip 3: Keep everyone focused on the goal and intention
Having a goal creates a common ground for your group and opens up a line of communication to share input from everyone. Creating set goals is a great way to hear everyone’s opinion and also helps with not making someone angry. Here is the example that is in the article.
Raw: We can’t do that. We have to do what I’ve suggested, or the project won’t work.
Polished: Tell me more about how your suggestion might help us reach our goal for this project, and then I’d like to share more information about my own suggestion.
Tip 4: Know the difference between inquiry and advocacy
“Much of the time, conversations go nowhere or aren’t as productive as they could be, because participants are too busy trying to convince others that their position is the correct one. Spend time inquiring into another participant’s position, as well as sharing why you’ve arrived at your own position. Remember, your truth isn’t the only truth, and you may not even be right. Keeping this in mind helps us be more humble as we enter into conversation with others.” Another thing to watch for that I am personally guilty of is not using the right words in questions. You want to watch your wording in case some words may come off more offensive instead of being inquisitive. Watching your wording will improve clarity of your message.
Raw: We can’t do that. We have to do what I’ve suggested, or the project won’t work.
Polished: Tell me more about how your suggestion might help us reach our goal for this project, and then I’d like to share more information about my own suggestion.
Tip 5: Set the stage
“Demonstrate your authenticity by telling people that you might not have it down pat yet. This comment instantly brings your audience to the table in terms of how you’re operating and what they might expect.” With this being said, this isn’t your scapegoat to be quick on your toes to say anything and everything. It is important the receiver of your message understands your way of communicating, as you should understand your receivers as well.
Raw: I’m going to say what I’m feeling and thinking.
Polished: Before we get started, I want to let you know that I’m trying to be more authentic. Do all of you feel comfortable with this? (Offer to share examples of your candor.)
I hope these tips help you improve your communication skills and better yet, your relationships!
